Wednesday 6 December 2023

Dave Barry


            On Tuesday morning in my Christian’s Translations blog I finished preparing the text and chord positions of "C'était une pauv' gosse des rues" by Boris Vian for publication. I just have to add a video from YouTube and then I’ll post it tomorrow. 
            I finished working out the chords for “Suck baby suck” by Serge Gainsbourg and ran through singing and playing it in French. I made some adjustments in my translation and tomorrow I’ll run through singing and playing it in English before uploading it to Christian’s Translations. 
            I played my Martin acoustic guitar during song practice for the first of two sessions. 
            I weighed 85.6 kilos before breakfast. 
            Around midday I painted the first coat of white gloss on the Masonite that I’d glued to the kitchen floor in front of the counter. I was alarmed when I opened the can because the paint had yellowish streaks in it and even a bit after a lot of stirring. But after it was on the floor it seemed whiter and brighter than it did after the white primer. I’ll do another coat on Wednesday. 
            I weighed 85.2 kilos before lunch. 
            I took a siesta and slept a few minutes more than two hours, which is more than half an hour longer than usual. I slept much more deeply than usual last night as well. I’m usually half awake in the morning when the alarm goes off but this time it really had to penetrate my unconsciousness. 
            There was no time for a bike ride downtown but I needed to go to Freshco to get bananas and grapes and so I just rode there. At Freshco I got raspberries and bananas but the grapes were pretty disappointing. I only got a couple of bags of not too soft green ones and then walked over to Metro. Their grapes weren’t much better but I found three bags of fairly firm black ones. 
            I weighed 85 kilos at 17:00.
            I was caught up on my journal at 17:43. 
            I reviewed the videos of my song practice performances of “The Accordion” and “L’accordion” from August 22 to 27. On August 22 and 26 I played “The Accordion” on my Martin acoustic guitar. On August 22 the take at 17:15 was pretty good. On August 26 the take at 15:15 was pretty good and looked good. On August 23 I played “L’accordion” on the electric guitar and this was the day the Kramer broke a string and I played the Fibson. It didn’t sound good. On August 24 I played “The Accordion” on the Kramer but I was getting a weird rattling sound when I played the B chord. On August 25 and 27 I played “L’accordion” on the Martin. On August 25 the take at 8:30 in Part B sounded pretty good but there was bad light and traffic noise. On August 27 I fumbled chords a couple of times. 
            In the Movie Maker project to create a video for the studio recording of my song “Megaphor” I was able to easily synchronize the concert video with the studio audio for the end of the penultimate line when I sing “from god to my head”. Then it wasn’t that hard to line them up for most of the last line, “And all those stars are strung like beads on an invisible thread spiralling endlessly inward from god to your…” But for “head”, which is the final word in the song I extend the note longer in the studio and close my mouth sooner in the concert video. So I had to add several images of gods to push the video of my mouth closing back so it happens later to fit with the studio audio. At the very end when there is no more audio from the studio recording I wanted to add one audio element from the concert video, which is some of the applause and when Michelle Ferman calls out, “That was great!” At first I couldn’t figure out how to do it because the audio quality of the whole video requires that I only use the audio from the studio. Then I realized that I could copy that section of the video and paste it into the audio timeline where it is automatically just read as an audio file. That worked great. I played the video through and it looks pretty good. I’ll publish it tomorrow and then I have to copy that project as “Megaphor with drums”, delete the audio timeline and insert the version of the same track with drums. Hopefully it will fit exactly without me having to do any resynchronization with the video. The file with drums is only 1/100th of a minute shorter. 
            I had a small potato with gravy and a small chicken leg while watching season 5, episodes 4 and 5 of Green Acres. 
            Oliver and Lisa are preparing to take Arnold the pig to Chicago to meet with the lawyer in charge of the will of Gus Birnbacher who left $20,000,000 to his pig Herman. Herman died and if it can be proven that Arnold is Herman’s direct descendant, he inherits the money. There are no papers to prove Arnold’s relation to Herman but since Herman had the ability to predict the weather with his tail, if Arnold can do the same he will be accepted as Herman’s heir. The only person who can interpret Arnold’s tail signals is Eb. Oliver doesn’t want to take Eb on the trip but Lisa insists and so Oliver gives in. Arnold has made national news and so when they arrive at the swanky Chicago hotel he is given the Royal Suite. Oliver and Lisa are given a tiny room big enough for a bed with a bathroom just big enough for the tub, and a closet that has the only window. When they go to meet Gerber the lawyer he asks for Arnold’s weather prediction. Arnold’s tail has turned blue and Eb says that means it is going to snow. But it is the middle of July and so Gerber says Arnold is obviously not the heir. Back at the hotel Oliver, Lisa, Eb, and Arnold are rudely kicked out but as they are leaving it begins to snow. Suddenly Arnold is once again treated like royalty and everyone is welcomed back into the hotel. 
            In the second story Oliver, Lisa, Eb, and Arnold return from Chicago. Arnold doesn’t yet have the $20,000,000 because it’s still in probate but Arnold’s caregiver Fred Ziffel is nonetheless swamped by salesmen of every sort trying to cash in. In order to have some peace Fred secretly leaves Arnold with Oliver and Lisa but Hank Kimball finds out. Oliver isn’t worried because Hank barely remembers his own name but this time he lets the salesmen know and Oliver is swamped with people selling insurance, a car, a boat, and a swimming pool with a bikini clad model attached. Oliver speaks on the phone with Gerber and learns that Birnbacher’s sister-in-law is disputing the will. 
            The insurance salesman was played by Dave Barry, who started his career in stand-up comedy and comedic impersonation at the age of 17. He won an amateur talent contest on the Major Bowes Original Amateur Hour radio show. Listeners voted him their favourite and this resulted in him getting live gigs. For the next seven years he toured the country and worked vaudeville stages. He eventually became a regular on the Jimmy Durante radio show with one of his most popular characters being Mr. Ripple, Inspector of Waterways. He made his television debut on Ed Sullivan’s Toast of the Town in 1948 and came back seven more times. He did voices for Warner Brothers Merry Melodies cartoons. Whenever the cartoon version of a Hollywood celebrity was used, Barry did the voice. He then became the voice of Bluto in the Popeye cartoons. He became a headliner in Las Vegas. His first film part was a cameo appearance in Joe Palooka and the Knockout in 1947. He played Bienstock, the manager of the all girl band in Some Like It Hot.



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