Sunday 10 December 2023

Megaphor (God in my Head): The Music Video


           On Saturday morning I went down my list of Boris Vian songs to find the next song to learn. But of the next eight on my list: “Les Gens de Saint-Germaine”; “J'ai une poupée”, “Le jour la nuit”, “Les lavandières”, “La légende du sansonnet et de l'étourneau”, “Seule avec la nuit”, “Story”, and “Tiger rag La Roua”, none of them have lyrics or audio samples available online. I’ll try the next song on my list tomorrow. 
            I memorized the first verse of “Gloomy Sunday” by Serge Gainsbourg. There’s only one other verse that’s repeated twice, but it’s long like the first verse and that took me three days to nail down. 
            I played my Kramer electric guitar during song practice for the third session of four. 
            I weighed 85.4 kilos before breakfast. 
            Around midday I rode down to No Frills where only one bag of grapes had firm ones. I picked up a pint of blueberries, two outside round steaks, three jars of Basilica sauce because they were on sale at that volume, two containers of skyr, and Miss Vicky’s chips. I knew I’d forgotten two items and so I walked around again until I remembered I needed potatoes. Then I walked around some more before realizing that I wanted petroleum jelly, but they were out. So I got some at Parkdale Pharmacy next door. 
            I weighed 85.4 kilos before lunch. I had Triscuits and some warmed up roti with hummus and a glass of limeade. 
            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back. It was warm out but it didn’t feel as warm as 11 degrees they said it was. I’m used to wearing two scarves and my winter gloves and so I still wore them. I wasn’t uncomfortable in the scarves but the gloves were a little too warm. 
            I weighed 84.8 kilos at 17:15. 
            I was caught up on my journal at 18:00.
            I reviewed the videos of my song practice performances of “The Accordion” and “L’accordion” from September 13 to 15. On September 13 I played “The Accordion” on my Martin acoustic guitar and the take in Part B at 7:00 was pretty good. On September 14 I played “L’accordion” on my Kramer electric guitar and the take at 23:15 wasn’t bad. On September 15 I played “The Accordion” on the Kramer and it didn’t always sound like I was hitting the B flat chord right. 
            I compared my August 6 acoustic performance of “The Accordion” to that of August 10. August 6 looks better but I hit the B flat chord a little more firmly on the 10th and so August 10th wins this round. 
            I continued to search for clips from old movies of women sitting alone in cafés. So far the one of Garbo I found yesterday is the closest to what I’m looking for but I’ll keep looking. 
            I scanned another sixteen slides from the first box and there are eight left. They are mostly all shots of my daughter around or on her second birthday. 
            I made pizza on naan with Basilica sauce, a cut up slice of pork loin, and five-year-old cheddar. I had it with a beer while watching season 5, episodes 12 and 13 of Green Acres. The first story was mostly a silly dream but starts off in reality. Oliver goes to Sam’s store to get his corn seed and Lisa asks about caviar. Sam says he doesn’t have it but they are coming out with a do it yourself caviar kit: tapioca blackened with licorice and flavoured with sardine oil. Oliver gets ready to plant his corn when Haney comes around trying to rent out the services of Agnes Cuttahay, the last of the authentic seed spitters. He does the same with Oscar the crow who he says will fink on his fellow crows and reveal what they are plotting. Oliver and Eb begin planting and Lisa comes out with some lemonade. Judging from Oliver’s face Lisa didn’t put sugar in it but Eb says it’s the best lemonade he’s ever had even though it tastes like kerosene. Oliver dumps his out and Lisa angrily pours the rest of the pitcher on the soil. The next morning Eb wakes Oliver up to show him that a giant corn stalk has grown in the middle of his field and rises up to disappear in the clouds. Then a boy named Jack climbs down and Eb asks him who’s up there. Jack says just a giant in a green suit. Then they hear from above a deep voiced “Ho Ho Ho” and a can of corn falls on Oliver’s head. Eb says, “We’re in a TV commercial!” Then a two meter long corn cob falls down. Then a girl named Jacqueline descends. Oliver wakes up while shaking Lisa to ask her what she put in the lemonade and then he realizes it was all a dream. 
            In the second story we see the large amount of beauty supplies that Lisa uses. She needs more but when she goes to Sam’s store he only has a few items for the women of the valley. He says the women of the valley use mercurochrome for nail polish, lamp black for eye shadow, and silver polish for skin cream. That’s odd considering that in the previous episode Sam had a display of real nail polish in his store. Lisa offers to set up a small cosmetics counter in Sam’s store and Sam thinks it’s a great idea. Oliver warns him he’ll be sorry. Lisa is making out her list of cosmetics to order from the Lady Love company when Haney shows up with his own products. One of them is hamster milk and he introduces Gwendoline the hamster. Haney says she’s shy about strangers watching her being milked and so Haney does it behind a curtain and produces a small vial. Then Haney introduces Abigail Haney who he says is his great grandmother but she is obviously an attractive young woman who Haney says is 93. Soon 295 cartons of the cosmetics that Lisa ordered arrive at Sam’s store and he is swamped. There is no room for everything. Lisa takes over the store and Sam has to sell groceries outside. Oliver tells Lisa she needs to move her store and so she sets it up at her house. Oliver tells everybody to leave but Ralph sprays him with vanishing spray and he becomes invisible. 
            When the Cannonball delivers Lisa’s cosmetics there is an entirely different train conductor than there is on Petticoat Junction. This man was not named but he was played by Bert Holland. He appeared on 13 episodes of Dragnet. He was the president of the American Federation of Television and Radio Artists Screen Actos Guild Credit Union from 1974 to 1977. He was chairman of the Santa Monica College Theatre Arts Department and directed many plays there. 
            So far my Megaphor video has only gotten 19 hits on YouTube. I think the creative work that I put into it deserves more than that.




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