Bridget Hanley

            On Monday morning woke up at 2:00 because I’d gone to bed so early. I did the dishes and brushed my teeth, then I went back to bed. But I was wide awake and so I got up to work on my journal until 4:00, then I returned to bed. I think I did almost doze off before the alarm sounded at 5:00. 

            I published “The Idol of the China Doll”, my translation of “China Doll” by Serge Gainsbourg, on my Christian’s Translations blog. There are twenty six songs left in my Gainsbourg translation project. 

            I memorized the first verse of his song “Aberdeen Kowloon”. 

            I played my Martin acoustic guitar during song practice for the last of four sessions. Tomorrow, weather permitting, I plan to take the Martin to the Twelfth Fret in the east end to get the action lowered. 

            I weighed 87.9 kilos before breakfast. I’m surprised I didn’t gain much weight on my birthday. Just 0.2 kilos. 

            At 13:00 I rode downtown for my appointment with Dr. Max Xia at the Graduate School of Periodontics. He examined my teeth and gums and measured the periodontal pockets. He said the intense deep cleaning that I had last month is going to have to be done at least a few times. He says my front left tooth has lost most of its bone and so surgery might be the only option. This examination only cost $36 and he decided to do something extra for free. He did another deep cleaning of that front tooth and put antibiotics in between the two front teeth. He also did some grinding in that area to fix my bite. He told me not to floss between those two front teeth for ten days, not to sulka there for five days, and not to brush there today. He booked me for a free consultation on July 8 and then I guess if that front tooth hasn’t shown progress, a surgical cleaning might be the only next option. The free consultation is probably a lead up to an expensive procedure. 

            I weighed 87.2 kilos at 16:15. 

            I took a late siesta. 

            I weighed 87 kilos at 18:00. 

            I’m way behind on my journal. 

            I grilled three chicken legs and had one with a potato and gravy while watching season 3, episodes 9 and 10 of Bewitched.

            In the first story Darrin and Samantha have to go to a business dinner at Larry and Louise Tate’s house. Darrin needs to impress Mr. MacElroy of the MacElroy Shoe Company with his ad ideas so Larry’s company can land the account. Meanwhile they need a babysitter for Tabatha but to Darrin’s annoyance Samantha has permitted her Aunt Clarra to come. Clara needs to get her mind off her broken heart because she has recently been dumped by her equally elderly boyfriend Ocky who has run off with a twenty one year old witch. She tries to sing Tabatha to sleep but her off key singing is making her cry so Clara tries to transport the grand piano upstairs up to the nursery. She successfully transforms it to the size of a toy but when she is halfway up the stairs with it the piano returns to its former size. She tries to cast a spell to solve that problem, “Oh piano black as night how I wish that you were light”. The lights suddenly go out and a lit candelabra appears on top of the piano. Meanwhile the lights go out at Larry Tate’s house as well. Clara manages to get the piano back in the parlour but the lights are still out. Gladys and Abner Kravitz come over to give Clara a flashlight and to inform her that the whole eastern seaboard is blacked out. This episode must be set a year earlier because this is the night of the great Northeast Blackout of November 1965. Clara needs help to solve this problem and so she summons her ex-boyfriend Ocky who is glad she brought him because he wants her back. He says he blew a year’s magic on the young witch because she was a gold digger. Clara says right now she just needs help with the lights. Ocky raises his arms and casts a spell that causes the lights to come back on but only while his arms are above his head. She has him continue to stand with his arms up and meanwhile Samantha calls to check on the baby and to ask how Clara is doing without lights. Clara says she has lights but since the lights are still out everywhere else Samantha asks her how she could have lights. Larry happens to overhear that there are lights at Darrin’s place and since they are not impressing McElroy by candlelight he suggests they all drive over to Darrin’s. Clara has to hide Ocky from everybody and so she puts him in the closet while continuing to stand with raised arms. Darrin, Samantha, Larry, Louise and McElroy arrive but even with lights Darrin and Larry are not impressing McElroy with their campaign ideas. Meanwhile snoopy Gladys Kravitz sneaks into the house to find out why the Stevens house is the only one on the eastern seaboard that has lights. She sees Samantha and runs to hide in the closet, then screams and runs for the front door. When everyone sees her she says there’s someone in the closet. Darrin opens it and Ocky has made himself invisible, except for his shoes, which slowly walk out of the closet. Gladys faints and the shoes step over her and exit through the front door. McElroy thinks Darrin has saved his best idea for last and he loves it and so McMann and Tate wins the contract with the idea of animated shoes. The official cause of the blackout was a power reversal caused by a sudden surge in the Niagara grid compounded by the failure of an automatic cut-off system. Samantha says newspapers are always coming up with logical explanations for things that are really caused by witches. 

            In the second story Darrin is on his way to work but can’t find his black and orange houndstooth sport coat. Samantha confesses that she gave it to a thrift shop among all the other things that he never wears. It had patches on the sleeves and torn pockets. Darrin goes to work angry at Samantha and vents to Larry about it. Larry asks him to lie down on the couch while he gets it off his chest. Larry and Louise have been getting counseling from a psychiatrist named Kramer. Kramer says there are three kinds of fights that couples have: the amphigoric, the semi-amphigoric, and the centripetal. The amphigoric is irrational and should be avoided. The semi-amphigoric is borderline and may be one or the other. If it turns out to be centripetal it should be fought through to a conclusion. Larry says that because Samantha likes him to wear conservative colours that she’s satisfied with settling down with Darrin. If she’d liked the loud sport coat it would have indicated that she still wants to be single and carefree herself. Meanwhile Louise is also playing psychiatrist with Samantha but both she and Larry have opposite interpretations of Kramer’s ideas. She says that because Darrin likes her to wear bright colours he is still romantic towards her. By giving away his loud jacket she is expressing less romance towards Darrin. So Darrin goes to buy Samantha a present to make up for their argument. He is shown some beautiful lingerie but is afraid of what he is communicating to Samantha and so he opts for a drab grey housecoat instead. Meanwhile Samantha goes back to the thrift shop and retrieves Darrin’s jacket. They present each other their gifts and are both disappointed. They begin to argue even more because now they doubt each other’s love. Darrin ends up sleeping on his couch at the office. Larry tells him he and Samantha need professional help and so he arranges for Dr. Kramer to make a house call. Meanwhile Samantha has the same idea and tells her mother that she’s going to call Dr. Kramer. Endora doesn’t like the idea because psychiatrists are anti-witch, but she decides if she’s going to consult a psychiatrists she should deal with the best. So Endora conjures up Sigmond Freud and brings him to Samantha. When Freud sees the jacket he says that anyone who finds it attractive is showing the symptoms of a severely disorganized mind and what it represents is bad taste. He says sensible people don’t fight over their partner’s disagreeable fashion choices. They should fight over important problems. Then Darrin arrives with Dr. Kramer and as soon as Kramer sees the jacket he says he’s been looking for one like it for years. Freud tells him it’s the ugliest sport coat he’s ever seen. Then Freud accuses him of having no professional ethics to barge in on a consultation between doctor and patient. Kramer says he’s been a practicing psychiatrist for years. Freud responds that he was practicing psychiatry before there was psychiatry. Kramer accuses Freud of having a fake accent and tells him his beard is a symptom of a father fixation. They both take off their jackets to prepare for a fist fight. Samantha and Endora make them both disappear before the violence can begin. 

            The salesperson who showed Darrin the lingerie was played by Bridget Hanley, who graduated from college with a BA in drama. She starred in the play The Trials of Arvid “Tickles” Yastrzemski for four years. Her first credited TV role was on the sitcom Hank. She played Candy Pruitt in the sitcom Here Come the Brides and Wanda Taylor on Harper Valley PTA. She starred in the one woman show May Day Sermon.