Fredd Wayne

            On Wednesday morning I finished memorizing “Aberdeen Kowloon” by Serge Gainsbourg. I doubt if anyone has posted the chords online so tomorrow I’ll start working them out. 

            I played my Kramer electric guitar during song practice for the second of two sessions. It’s still going out of tune a lot since Gian at Li’l Demon raised the action. 

            I weighed 87.5 kilos before breakfast. 

            In the late morning I headed out for an early bike ride and stopped at Long and McQuade to look at electric guitars. The better looking ones are all out of my price range. I asked about foot switches and was offered a second hand Apex switch for $10 but that would still require a stereo cable and Paul’s Boutique had Apex switches with built in cables for $20. He had a second hand Boss FS6L but didn’t tell me a price. I finished my bike ride and stopped at Paul’s Boutique in Kensington Market. Paul wasn’t there but the person minding the store found the two Apex switches that Paul had set aside for me. I asked about the warranty and was shocked when she told me it was three days for anything in the store. I think it’s thirty days at Long and McQuade and it’s definitely thirty days on Amazon. I told her I would pass because I didn’t like the warranty. She seemed indifferent and when I left said “Come again” in a tone that seemed to me to mean, “I don’t give a fuck if you ever come back”, which I won’t. I think I’m just going to buy the Boss FS6L on Amazon. The switch handles two cables and it looks easier on bare feet than the metal button on the Apex anyway. I think it might be cheaper on Amazon also. 

            I weighed 87 kilos at 13:45. I had a toasted bagel with five-year-old cheddar and a glass of iced tea. 

            I weighed 87.5 kilos at 16:00. 

            I was caught up on my journal at 19:53. 

            I opened in Audacity the audio file of my August 20 song practice and increased the volume of the guitar and then the vocal. Tomorrow I’ll start an August 20 project in Movie Maker. 

            I made pizza on naan with Basilica sauce, two sliced souvlaki, and five-year-old cheddar. I had it with a beer while watching season 3, episodes 13 and 14 of Bewitched. 

            This is a two part story. Samantha is trying to fix a lamp when Aunt Clara drops in. She tries to conjure an electrician to help Samantha but winds up bringing back Benjamin Franklin. Samantha explains that Franklin experimented with electricity but wouldn’t know how to fix a lamp. While they are waiting for Clara to remember the spell to send Franklin back, Samantha tries to entertain him. He greets the ladies in French and Samantha responds in French. She explains to Clara that in Ben Franklin’s time people often exchanged polite greetings in French. He now realizes that he is in the future. He wants to know if modern science has time travel and rather than tell him it was done by witchcraft she says yes. She shows him the everyday things that resulted from his electrical experiments. Darrin comes home and after his initial shock they all have dinner. Franklin asks about his other inventions and is told that his public library is now extremely common. Samantha tells him that there is also the fire department, the rocking chair, and bifocals. Then Larry comes to visit and when he sees Franklin he thinks it’s Darrin’s clever idea of an advertizing campaign for the Franklin Electronics Company. Samantha and Clara plan on taking Ben on a tour of the city. He spends the night but the next morning he leaves a note saying that he has set out on his own. They find him in front of the public library and he has drawn a crowd. They take him to the fire department and show him a vintage fire engine. He climbs onto it but accidentally starts it and it drives across the street. He’s arrested, charged with theft and bail is set for $1000 ($10,000 today), which Darrin puts up. The trial will be in four weeks. They bring Ben to their house but on their way in Clara remembers her spell and sends Franklin back. But if Ben doesn’t show up in court Darrin will lose $1000. 

            In part 2 when Mr. Hawkins the DA learns that the company that Darrin works for plan on using Ben Franklin for their ad campaign he now sees Ben’s stealing of the fire engine as a publicity stunt and plans to fully prosecute. He advances the court date to the day after tomorrow. Clara is still trying to bring back Ben Franklin but briefly brings US President Franklin Pearce. Samantha’s house is surrounded by reporters and onlookers. The nosy neighbour Gladys Kravitz is trying to tell a TV reporter what she saw and heard Clara do: “Hark ye witches who live in lamps…” That jars Clara’s memory and she can now repeat the spell. Benjamin Franklin is brought back and for him it’s at the exact time that he left. Franklin says, “It’s the innocent who need an attorney, the guilty can lie for themselves.” In order to sway public opinion Samantha takes the time they have left to go on a campaign promoting Ben Franklin. She arranges for him to speak at a school in place of the scheduled astronaut. Clara puts a spell on a TV announcer and he asks viewers to call in with their opinions about Benjamin Franklin. Samantha causes the signs at a protest march to be changed to display slogans supporting Ben Franklin. Samantha and Darrin are worried about the trial but Franklin says he always prepares for the worst so that when it doesn’t happen he’s delightfully surprised. In court a librarian is on the stand and says Ben came into the library to pay a fine on a book that was 200 years overdue. Franklin says this proves he is honest. The school principal is put on the stand and says that Franklin gave the finest speech he’d ever heard and the students cheered him for five minutes. The court takes a fifteen minute recess during which time Samantha goes back to the fire engine to retrieve the plaque and then bring it back to court. Franklin presents the plaque as exhibit A. The plaque says it’s the Benjamin Franklin fire truck. Samantha asks how he could have stolen his own property. Hawkins says he hasn’t proven he is Ben Franklin but Franklin responds that he has yet to prove he is not. Samantha tells the court that whoever he is all he has done is remind people of the wonderful accomplishments of Benjamin Franklin. The jury votes in favour of Franklin. The judge asks if he’ll continue to be Benjamin Franklin. Ben says that a man’s wisdom should be left to future generations to measure against their own circumstances. If a man attempts to impose old notions on new generations he is in danger of losing his claim to wisdom. Ben decides to take Clara out on the town before he goes back to his own time. Darrin says, “Didn’t you say ‘Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy wealthy and wise?” Ben answers, “Yes I did. But that was before the electric light. 

            Benjamin Franklin was played by Fredd Wayne, who was renowned for his many portrayals of that historical figure. During WWII he was put in charge of providing entertainment for the troops as a writer, producer and actor. He created and starred in drag in G.I. Carmen, which was the second most popular GI show of WWII. In 1949 he had his breakthrough role on Broadway as Brewster Ames II in Texas Li’l Darlin. He wrote, produced and directed his one man show Benjamin Franklin, Citizen. He did a popular voice recording of The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin.