Hal Linden

            On Friday morning I ran through singing and playing “La complainte de Bonnot” by Boris Vian. On Saturday I’ll start revising my translation. 

            I ran through singing and playing “Je t’aime. Moi aussi” (I Love You. So Do I). I worked out a translation for the first verse and some of the second. I should have it done tomorrow and then I’ll run through it in English. 

            I weighed 89.6 kilos before breakfast.

            I played my Martin during song practice and it didn’t stay in tune.

            I painted with “blue bliss” the inside edge and part of the back of my future bathroom mirror frame. I painted just enough of the back where the mirror fits so it doesn’t show a reflection of the unpainted part of the frame. On Tuesday I might touch up the blue around parts of the edges of the four pink floral reliefs on the frame where there are tiny bits of white showing. Then I’ll put the glass back in and hopefully mount the mirror next Friday. 

            I weighed 91.35 kilos before lunch, which is the heaviest I’ve been in the early afternoon since June 25.

            In the afternoon the smoke had cleared enough for me to ride my bike all the way downtown and back. 

            I weighed 90.5 kilos at 17:45. 

            I worked on getting caught up in my journal but was still a day behind at suppertime. 

            I grilled two T-bone steaks and had one with a potato and gravy while watching season 10, episode 21 of The Carol Burnett Show. 

            The first skit features the snooty theatrical married couple Funt and Mundane performing their play A Deadly Affair. They have toured the play across the country and given over 400 performances but tonight they are in the huge outdoor Astro Bowl with an audience of 25,000. They’ve never played for more than 2500. The stage is also much bigger and everything on the set is much further apart than usual and a much longer walk. They also have to shout in order to be heard from the back. When they sit on the couch the people in the front can’t see them so they have to sit on the back of the couch. During an important line a plane flies overhead and drowns it out. Then a moth flies down Mundane’s dress and her reaction looks like dancing so Funt joins in. Then a storm blows in and the set starts moving across the stage and they both lose their wigs. 

            Hal Linden sings the 1972 song “I Won’t Last a Day Without You” by Paul Williams and Roger Nichols. 

            After the song Hal tells Carol that he would love to answer audience questions the way she does. But before anyone can ask anything Carol gives out so much information about him that nobody has anything to ask. He’s the star of Barney Miller, he’s been in many Broadway plays and won a Tony for The Rothschilds; he started in showbusiness as a sax player and band singer. 

            Harvey is piloting a ship when Tim as his old man character and this time as the oldest sea captain arrives on deck. He says, “If the sea could only talk it would tell us where to get some clams”. He looks at a mural on the wall of the sea and a ship and marvels at how calm the sea is tonight. Then he notices the ship in the painting and sounds the alarm. Tim is about to retire when he is hit by the door and a seaman reports an iceberg off the port bow. Tim goes to telegraph their position and asked how to spell “SOS”. Tim takes the wheel and ends up spinning on it for several turns with his whole body but it steers them clear of the ice berg. 

            They do a parody of Showboat called "Riverboat". Carol plays Ruby the star of the Riverboat Show. She’s excited because the boat has docked in the town where her shifty, cowardly, unfaithful, gambling man Snakey is. She sings a parody of “Can’t Help Loving That Man”. She sees him (played by Hal) but he doesn’t notice her as he sings about his ideal mate. When she makes her presence known and suggests they get married he tells her he’d never marry someone whose grandmother was a saloon singer. But when he sees the captain’s daughter Wisteria (played by Vicky) he falls for her. They sing a song together about pretending. She tells her father she’s in love with Snakey and Snakey tells them he’s going to reform and make Wisteria his wife. Ruby has been listening and she wants to give Wisteria the chance to star in the show so she announces that she’s quitting the Riverboat. She says she wants to be a saloon singer and belt out suggestive songs for old drunks and be somebody. She leaves and then Tim sings a parody of “Old Man River” called “Old Mister Sippy”. A year later Ruby is a saloon singer singing to a handful of unconscious drunks when Snakey staggers in looking ragged and dirty. He asks some unconscious gamblers if he can join their game and sits down. Ruby asks him why he doesn’t go back to his insipid wife. He says he’s not good enough for her “but I’m good enough for you” and they embrace. Snakey goes to brush his teeth and then Wisteria enters the saloon with a baby in her arms. She tells Ruby repeatedly how horrible she looks. Wisteria tells Ruby she’s miserable without Snakey and again tells Ruby how bad she looks. Wisteria leaves and Snakey comes in looking renewed. Ruby suggests they take a walk by the docks and she leads him to the Riverboat where Wisteria is sadly singing her “Pretend” song and suddenly Snakey runs to her to join in. The Riverboat rolls away while Ruby sits on the dock singing “Old Mister Sippy” until she’s covered by a big sack of cotton. 

            Hal Linden was born Harold Lipschitz in 1931. In his late teen he played clarinet with symphony orchestras. He studied music at Queens College. He toured with Sammy Kaye’s orchestra. he studied voice and acting at the American Theatre Wing. He made his Broadway debut in Bells Are Ringing in 1956. He made his TV debut on Producer’s Showcase in 1957. He won a Tony Award in 1971 for his performance in the musical The Rothschilds. He starred in Barney Miller from 1975 to 1983 and was nominated for 7 Emmy Awards. He hosted Animals and FYI (for which he won two Emmys). He won another Emmy for CBS Schoolbreak Special. He starred in the sitcoms Blacke’s Magic in 1986, Jack’s Place in 1992, and The Boys Are Back in 1994. He co-starred in the films A New Life, Time Changer, He starred in The Samuel Project. He released an album of standards in 2011.