I Brought Tibetan Buddhism to Toronto. You're Welcome!

After the food bank on Saturday I still needed coffee and so I headed down to the No Frills at King and Jameson to see if it had re-opened yet after months of being closed for roof repairs. As I was locking my bike in front of the store, I looked across the street and west to the building where I lived from 1988 to 1991 at 10 Maynard where it meets King, was covered in Buddhist banners and the largest face of the building was a gigantic picture of the Tibetan Buddhist bigwig, the Karmapa and the announcement that he would be coming to town with his band of sitters at the end of May. Next door to 10 Maynard is 12 Maynard where my ex-girlfriend (whose last name was coincidentally “Maynard”) used to live. I’d known that there was a Buddhist temple on Maynard but was surprised to see that it was at 12 Maynard.

I was curious because of the banners at 10 Maynard, if my old residence was also some kind of Buddhist place now, so I walked over. In front of 12 Maynard, several religious slaves, mostly women were happily working in the garden, as devotees tend to do. But there was one guy standing and watching. He saw me and recognized my curiosity so he nodded. I stepped up the driveway and he pointed at 10 Maynard to say in what sounded like a Polish accent, “It’s a temple!” but then he corrected himself and said that 12 Maynard is a temple while 10 Maynard is a Tibetan residence now. He said they want to buy the whole street. Later I looked it up online and saw that there are Tibetan restaurants at both 14 and 20 Maynard. I also found out that my old place was bought for $3 million and the temple address went for $2 million. These people are loaded!

He told me about the Karmapa coming and explained that he was their “king” and that he was very rich. He said also that he was a reincarnated leader but doesn’t remember very much of the other times. I commented that was very convenient. He argued though that there are tests that he had to pass that showed some kind of memory. I suggested that it’s probably not very scientific. We chatted for a while until one of the gardeners pulling up weeds found one that she didn’t have the strength to yank and so she called to him, “Hey Buddy!” and asked if he’d do it for her. I took that opportunity to move along and to buy my coffee at the supermarket.

It occurred to me though as I was walking away, that since my ex-girlfriend and I used to live side by side at 12 and 10 Maynard Avenue, I may be the only person that ever had sex in both buildings, one of which is a Buddhist temple and the other a Buddhist residence. It seems very possible then that it was the intensity of my orgasms at 12 Maynard that created the vibrations that attracted the Buddhists to build a temple at that address. That means that my penis caused Tibetan Buddhism in Toronto. You’re welcome Karmapa!