Arch Johnson

            On Saturday morning I discovered that when I’d thought that I had memorized “S'il pleauvait des larmes” (If it Rained with Our Tears) by Boris Vian I’d missed the fact that the third line of the last verse is slightly different than the pattern. So I went through the whole song again so I could solidly say I’d nailed it down. Tomorrow I’ll look for the chords. 

            I finished memorizing “L'impression du déjà vu” (A Sense of Déjà Vu) by Serge Gainsbourg and looked for the chords. As I suspected, no one had posted them and so I worked them out for the first verse. 

            I weighed 87.8 kilos before breakfast, which is the lightest I’ve been in the morning since June 23. 

            Around midday I hitched up my bike trailer and went to No Frills. The grapes were very cheap at $2.18 a kilo and so I got eight bags. I also bought a pack of strawberries, bananas, mouthwash, pita crackers, low sugar iced tea, Miss Vickie’s sweet chili chips, a pack of lightbulbs, and two containers of skyr. Once again (now going on two months) No Frills doesn’t have its own brand of PC skyr. 

            The cashier, Hanan asked me if grapes are my favourite food. I told her that it’s food one can eat at the computer without having to look at what you’re eating. She said, “That’s true”. I told her there was a book in the 1970s by a woman who claimed grapes can cure cancer. It was called The Grape Cure by Johanna Brandt. The American Cancer society dismisses her claim as quackery. 

            I weighed 88 kilos before lunch. I had saltines with five-year-old cheddar and a glass of low sugar iced tea. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and when I passed a couple of LCBO picket lines I remembered that I needed to buy beer. I stopped at the Beer Store Express at Queen and Palmerston and bought a twelve pack of Creemore. That will last me a month. 

            I weighed 86.5 kilos at 17:00. That’s the least I’ve tipped the scale in the evening since May 28.

            I was caught up on my journal at 17:30. 

            Since it was the first evening with sunlight since Monday I went out with my camera to take advantage of it. I walked to Sorauren and then back almost to Dufferin, then back to Sorauren. I noticed somebody sitting on the street at the north west corner of Sorauren and Queen. I crossed over and realized it was Allen Sutterfield, the founder of the Art Bar Reading Series. I haven’t seen him for a few years. He was selling his books as I’ve seen him do in the past but I think this was the first time in a long time. He was holding a cane because he just had a hip operation. He’s been living above the storefront at that corner for many years and his son owned the comic book store below but now his son has moved and Allen says he’ll have to go soon as well, but he doesn’t know where. 

            I asked if he would let me shoot a video of him singing my lines “Sit here and wait for the next state of grace” and “Line up and wait for the next state of grace”. He agreed and I think it was successful. I made sure I watched the playback this time. I gave him $10 and he said I could take one of his books so I grabbed The Guttenberg Galaxy by Marshal McLuhan. The book was $5 and I offered to pay but he said it was a fair exchange.

            I walked back on the south side of Queen and as I passed the parking lot of the closed liquor store I saw that someone had dumped a piano there against the wall. It was on its end and tilted like someone had pushed it off the back of a pickup truck and just driven away. The way it was upended at a slant made it look like the Titanic just before going down. In front of the LCBO was a the panhandler who’s often there calling out, “Change for coffee?” and if it’s a woman he asks, “Change for coffee dear?” I told him I’d give him $10 to do a video and he agreed. I took him back to the parking lot and had him lean on the broken piano while he recited the lines. I had to get him to slow down because he said the lines fast the way he asks for change. When I gave him the $10 he asked if I could spare another $5 but I said, “Sorry”. 

            Brian didn’t even know why the liquor store is closed so obviously he doesn’t beg to buy booze. I saw another guy stopping in front of the door and looking confused as he read the hours of operation. He didn’t know they were on strike either. 

            I kept the camera on the tripod and walked east as far as the library and then west again. Somewhere between MacDonnell and Sorauren a guy asked if I wanted a picture. I got him to do it right there against a tree and he did the lines. I gave him $10. I think the video was a little too shadowy but we’ll see.

            I walked back and forth between Sorauren and the library a few times until I was too tired to continue. I got a total of three videos so I think it was a productive night. I uploaded and watched them. I don’t know if I’ll use the shadowy one but we’ll see. I’m still hoping to find Whispering Ghost so I can reshoot the video I screwed up on Monday. 

            I made pizza on naan with Basilica sauce and five-year-old cheddar. I had it with a beer while watching season 4, episodes 18 and 19 of Bewitched. 

            In the first story Endora has just come back from Paris where she ran into Samantha’s old beau Rollo. Rollo is somewhat of a Latin lover and Samantha is the only one who ever rejected him. Endora still doesn’t understand why her daughter chose a mortal over Rollo and so she plots to reconnect them. She arranges for Samantha to join them for lunch. Then Darrin walks in with a client named Bo Callahan who seems uncharacteristically vulgar for someone in the perfume business. He thinks that Endora would be the perfect model for his new perfume for older dames. Both Darrin and Endora are against the idea but Callahan says they can talk about it at dinner at his place. Samantha says they can’t get a sitter and so Callahan says it’ll be dinner at their place then. Endora decides to go but to bring Rollo. She suggests to Rollo that he use his powerful love potion on Samantha. He asks her if her conscience ever bothers her. She says it does tickle a bit. Samantha seems to have turned the event into a dinner party and also invited bickering couple named Bill and Harriet Walters who we’ve never seen but who seem to be friends of Samantha and Darrin. Rollo keeps coming on to Samantha and she keeps rejecting him so finally he gives up and prepares a drink for her in a martini glass with his love potion. She accepts the drink but puts it down on the coffee table to put on some music. Endora is so annoyed by Callahan’s conversation that she reaches for a drink and grabs the potion. She immediately falls in love with Callahan and is all over him. Bill drinks the other half and suddenly he’s chasing his own wife all over the house. Endora transports Callahan to a justice of the peace so they can get married. Rollo tells Samantha the potion will last an hour. The judge tells Endora they need a witness and so she transports Rollo. Samantha tries to delay the wedding but Endora sends her away and she can’t get back. Rollo mentions that Endora is more powerful than he and Samantha combined. But though Samantha can’t go to the wedding she can bring it to her. She delays the wedding just long enough and the spell is broken just before the “I do”s. 

            Callahan was played by Arch Johnson, who began acting and directing in community theatre in Philadelphia in the 1940s and 50s. He studied at the Neighbourhood Playhouse in New York. He was in the original production of West Side Story on Broadway. He was also in the first production of Other People’s Money and originated the role of Jorge. He co-starred in the TV series The Asphalt Jungle and played the same character in the movie The Lawbreakers. He co-starred on the sitcom Camp Runamuck. 

            In the second story Darrin is working late on a campaign for a new client and hasn’t been home for dinner in a few days. As usual Endora suspects that Darrin is cheating on her daughter. The account McMann and Tate are pursuing is the J.P. Sommers account. Larry wants Darrin to meet with Sheila Sommers to help secure the deal, but we met Sheila in the first season and we know that she and Darrin used to be engaged. Darrin meets her for dinner and she is very aggressive towards him. Darrin keeps trying to get away but when Endora comes to spy on him they are very close together. Endora makes him wear his entrée. Sheila invites Darrin and Samantha to a dinner party. The last time she did that she was very condescending towards Samantha throughout the night and she repeats that behaviour again. As before, Samantha holds off on the magic until she can’t stand it any longer and then hexes Sheila in ways that cause her wig to come off and her top to unravel.