Lila Garrett

            On Tuesday morning I finished editing “S'il pleauvait des larmes” (If Our Tears Made Rainfall) by Boris Vian on my Christian’s Translations blog and it will be ready for publication as soon as I post a video for the song. 

            I worked out the chords for the first verse of “Tombée des nues” (Falling from the Clouds) by Serge Gainsbourg. I’m pretty sure the rest of the verses and the instrumentals follow the same pattern.

            I played my Martin acoustic guitar during song practice for the first of four sessions and it stayed in tune the whole time. It seems to stay in tune better on humid days. 

            I weighed 88.15 kilos before breakfast. 

            Around midday I brought the step ladder back in and sanded the upper right quarter of the eastern wall of my bathroom. That wall has the most surface to cover in the room, so after it’s done the rest should be a breeze. 

            I weighed 87.8 kilos before lunch. 

            I took a siesta at 14:30 and woke up about fifteen minutes later than usual at 16:15. I convinced myself for a few minutes that I’d already taken a bike ride downtown earlier. Then I realized it was yesterday when I’d gone downtown early so I headed out. 

            I weighed 87.2 kilos at 18:00. 

            I was caught up on my journal at 18:30. 

            I took my camera and tripod out to look for people to put on video. The liquor store is back in business now that the strike is over and a few people are hanging around outside and drinking or trying to get the money to do so. I walked to Sorauren. I saw Allen Sutterfield come out of a store with a walker. I greeted him but he didn’t respond. He looked very old, even more so than he did when I talked to him at the beginning of the month. I walked back to Elm Grove and then to Sorauren again before returning home. It was a pretty dead night. 

            I tried again to publish the video of my electric performance of “The Wooden Leg” with the sharpened grainy film effect but that resulted in a slowed down video again. I went back to Movie Maker and removed the grainy effect. I changed it to grey scale and combined the sharpened and old film effect. I published it and it had normal speed. I uploaded it to YouTube. So now I’ll take “The Wooden Leg” and “La jambe de bois” out of my daily repertoire and add “Fais moi mal Johnnie” and “Do Me Bad Johnny”. Tomorrow I’ll start reviewing the videos of “Baby Pop”. 

            I listened some more to the next cassette tape on the pile and it seems be all recordings of Tom Smarda. 

            I had a potato with gravy and the last T-bone steak while watching season 5, episodes 19 and 20 of Bewitched. 

            In the first story Darrin’s mother buys Tabitha some modelling clay but she plays with it magically rather than with her hands. Darrin is upset and so Samantha says she will take up sculpting to set an example. Endora doesn’t like Darrin forcing her daughter to do things the mortal way and so she casts a spell to make Darrin feel an urge to continuously eat flowers. Samantha makes her remove it. The next day Darrin and Larry meet their client Mr. Campbell of Campbell Sporting Goods. Campbell is a hard drinker and carries around a bar in his briefcase. Then they go for lunch and have several drinks before even ordering. Campbell can handle his liquor and wants to talk business but now both Darrin and Larry are too drunk. Larry invites Campbell to come for dinner that night at Darrin’s place. Samantha makes a bust of Darrin that resembles a bad copy of one of the Easter Island statues. Darrin is trying to find something nice to say about it when Endora appears and says he wouldn’t know a Rodin from a hot rock. Darrin says she learned to read from the Dead Sea Scrolls. Endora decides to punish him for bringing up her age. She conjures a realistic clay sculpture of Darrin’s head and leaves it in his study. He tries to remove it and it barks, “Back off clown!” When Larry arrives Endora places the head in the living room. Larry is impressed when Endora tells him Samantha did it. He wants her to do one of him too. Campbell arrives and starts drinking. While they are all having dinner Endora returns to the living room and adds a bust of Larry next to Darrin’s. When Larry sees it he says it looks like it could talk and then it says, “How do you do?” Darrin, Larry and Campbell go to have their brandy in the den but Endora moves the busts in there. The Larry head winks at Campbell. The Larry head sneezes and the Darrin head says it ought to see an allergist. The heads ask for salami sandwiches and then Campbell says he’s leaving. He signs the contract and gives up drinking, which was predictable. Endora is disappointed to learn that her prank had a positive result. 

            This story was co-written by Lila Garrett, who also co-wrote episodes of The Second Hundred Years, My Favourite Martian and All in the Family. She co-wrote the TV movie The Barefoot Executive. She served as a delegate for Michael Dukakis when he sought to lead the Democratic party to the presidency. She started Americans Against War with Iraq. She was president of the California chapter of Americans for Democratic Action and was a founding member of Progressive Democrats of America. She hosted the political radio show Connect the Dots and contributed to the LA Progressive online magazine. She co-won two Emmy awards and one Writers Guild award. She was the mother in law of Eric Roberts. 

            In the second story Serena visits wearing a woolen boyar hat and a matching minidress with high boots. She plays a trick on the elderly cat lady neighbour Miss Parsons by appearing and disappearing in front of her. Samantha has Serena babysit while she delivers an envelope. She says to let Tabitha sleep for an hour and so Serena conjures an hourglass in which the sand runs up. While Samantha is gone Darrin’s mother Phyllis drops in uninvited. When Phyllis starts to criticize Samantha and her family Serena turns her into a cat that runs outside and is chased up a tree by a dog. Miss Parsons rescues her and takes her home. When Samantha comes home Serena is dancing to loud ruck and roll music. Samantha learns what Serena did to Phyllis and goes looking for her. She finds her at Miss Parsons’s house but has to use magic to discern which cat is Phyllis by turning every cat but Phyllis into a puppy. Then she brings her to Serena to change back.