Elvia Allman

            On Sunday morning I worked out the chords for the chorus of “Chasseur d'ivoire” (Ivory Hunter) by Serge Gainsbourg. I don't think the rest of the song will be that difficult to figure out. 

            I weighed 86.8 kilos before breakfast. 

            Around midday I used a nail file to try to clean the hard to get at dirty corners of my metal dish rack. It did loosen up some of the dirt but it's very time consuming. This phase of my kitchen cleaning project is taking a lot longer than I expected because of all the little areas where the dirt is hiding. 

            I weighed 86.8 kilos before lunch. I had Breton crackers and five-year-old cheddar with a glass of raspberry lemonade. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride to Bloor and Ossington. I weighed 86.6 kilos when I got home. 

            I edited the clip of the catatonic schizophrenia patient and inserted it into the video I'm making for my song “Instructions For Electroshock Therapy.” I trimmed it a little more so it only corresponds with my line “Best of all it doesn't leave any scars.” After that I tried to synchronize the concert video with the studio audio as I sing “shock therapy” before the instrumental. But the studio audio is quite a bit ahead of the concert video and so I had to trim some of the schizophrenia clip. If I trim too much however there will be an overlap where the studio audio will have me singing “scars” after I've already sung “scars” in the concert video and I'm shown not singing. The guitar build up to me singing “shock therapy” is longer in the concert video but I might have to settle for the overlap of hearing me sing “scars” without my mouth moving in order to line “shock therapy” up. I'll try to figure it out tomorrow and then put this project on hold until April.

            I read another fourteen pages of Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad. The narrator continues telling his story of life in the African outpost, which seems to be in the Congo. He keeps hearing of a remarkable man named Kurtz who has achieved success in the heart of the jungle. There is also always talk of ivory. The narrator gets his riverboat fixed and transports some Europeans up the river towards Kurtz. 

            I had an egg sunny side up, a hot Italian sausage, and toast with a beer while watching the third and fourth episode of the second season of The Addams Family.

            In the first story Morticia continues to tell Wednesday and Pugsley the story of how she married Gomez. His wedding with Morticia's sister Ophelia was going to be that afternoon despite the fact that Morticia and Gomez had fallen in love. Morticia calls for her cousin Fester and he tries to match-make Ophelia with Gomez's cousin Itt. They seem to get along but for some reason Ophelia still insists on the wedding with Gomez. During the ceremony Gomez declares that he's not worthy and Ophelia agrees. She changes her mind about Gomez and then picks up Itt to carry him away. Then Morticia and Gomez make use of the minister and marry. 

            In the second story Gomez's Aunt Millicent, who is now called Princess Millicent because she married a prince even though he was also a pauper. She is invited to come and stay with the Addamses but is obsessed with being treated like royalty. Lurch wears short pants, Fester becomes a jester and the children become pages. She brings along her handmaiden Lady Fingers, who is a hand like Thing and the two appendages fall in love. But Millicent is so difficult that the children put the sign “Down with tyrants” on her door. Millicent's land strikes oil and she leaves to stay in a hotel. They are glad she's gone but now all Thing does is mope without Lady Fingers. For Thing's sake they invite Millicent back and she returns, happy that the children now carry signs saying “Up with tyrants”. But she has come back without Lady Fingers. Instead in the box is an old hand named Esmeralda. Millicent explains that all Lady Fingers did was mope and so she fired her. But suddenly things start going missing, like Millicent's bracelet. Morticia catches Esmeralda picking Gomez's pocket. Now exposed, Esmeralda leaves and Lady Fingers returns. Millicent is taking Lady Fingers on a cruise but first Thing puts an engagement ring on her finger. 

            Millicent was played by Elvia Allman, who started out on the radio in 1929 reading children's stories and became well known as a dialectician. She was also a singer and in 1933 she moved to New York to do a musical program as The California Cocktail. Her first hit program was Blue Monday Jamboree in which she played Auntie MacCasser, Octavia Smith-Whiffen, and Pansy Pennypincher. On The Komedy Kingdom she played Elia Queen of Mirth. She played the man chasing Cobina on the radio in 1938 on The Pepsodent Show starring Bob Hope. She later reprised the role in several motion pictures. She was the voice of Clarabelle the Cow in 28 Disney cartoons and in the first Porky Pig cartoon. She played Gracie's best friend Tootsie on the George Burns And Gracie Allen Show. She was Mrs Kennedy in The Adventures of Maisie, Penelope Pelican on Cinnamon Bear, and Cuddles Bongschnook on the Durante-Moore Show. She played Cora Dithers on the Blondie radio show. Television brought her greater fame when she played Selma Plout on Petticoat Junction and Elverna Bradshaw on The Beverly Hillbillies. In the 1970s and 80s she worked as a real estate agent and found Mary Tyler Moore a house.