Monday 1 August 2022

Pete Puma


            On Sunday morning I translated the first few lines of "Sermonette" by Boris Vian. 
            I finished working out the chords for "Moi j'te connais comme si j' t'avais défaite" (My translated title: I Know You as if I'm the Sky That Snowed You) by Serge Gainsbourg. I ran through the song in French and English, uploaded it to Christian's Translations, edited it, and published it on the blog. Tomorrow I'll post my translation on Facebook and then move on to Gainsbourg's next song from 1982. 
            I weighed 85.8 kilos before breakfast. 
            Around midday, I washed the front of my fridge and all of the magnetic letters and numbers that I stick there. I washed the main chamber of the freezer and part of the freezer door but I have to finish that tomorrow and do the rest of the inside of the fridge. 
            I weighed 85.9 kilos before lunch. I had saltines with five-year-old cheddar with a glass of limeade. 
            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back. 
            I weighed 85.5 kilos at 17:10. 
            I was caught up on my journal at 17:52. I reviewed the July 9, 11, and 12 videos of me playing my song "Megaphor" and decided that July 9 is the best one. I started a Movie Maker project to synchronize the video with the audio recording for that day. The audio volume that I recorded with the interface on Ableton is extremely low when compared with the camera volume. The recordings that I did a few years ago with Windows Voice Recorder and with no interface were a lot louder. 
            I imported a video of an ocean lightning storm into my Movie Maker project for creating a video of my song "Instructions for Electroshock Therapy". I copied it to the end of the timeline and began cutting out all of the dark parts that show no lightning. It's a five-minute video and so it will take at least another day to get a steady video of only lightning. 
            I continued sorting through the fifth file folder of my writing and mostly tried to separate the poems chronologically. 
            I made pizza on a slice of Bavarian sandwich bread with Basilica sauce and extra old cheddar. I had it with a beer while watching four Bugs Bunny cartoons from 1952. 
            The audio on the first file didn't work and so I had to locate the video on Daily Motion. In the story, a Texas oil tycoon is so rich that he not only has a phone in his stretch limo but also a telephone operator. His section of the car is a big living room and when Maverick the driver opens the door for him he has to ride a motorbike to get back there. The tycoon receives notice that one of the holes in his oil field is not gushing oil. This is serious because every hole in Texas must gush. The tycoon arrives with dynamite to unblock the hole, but it turns out to be Bugs Bunny's hole. He sends dynamite down the hole but only hears party horns and no explosion. Bugs sends up a birthday cake. The tycoon wonders who could have known it was his birthday when it wasn't. Bugs tells the tycoon to blow out the candles and the cake explodes. The tycoon starts firing down Bugs's hole but Bugs funnels the bullets into a pipe that curves and sends the bullets back up to hit the tycoon's behind. The tycoon sends Maverick down the rabbit hole after Bugs, but Bugs comes back up disguised as Maverick. Seeing his driver empty handed the tycoon decides to go down the rabbit hole himself. Below he finds Maverick but still thinks Maverick is also above. He tells Maverick to send down dynamite. There is now so much dynamite that it's blocking the light. Bugs calls down for the tycoon to get his lighter from the drawer. The hole explodes and causes a gusher of carrots instead of oil. Bugs explains that anything can happen in Texas. 
            The second story features Wile E Coyote, but this time he can talk. Wile E goes to Bugs, introduces himself, and tells him to prepare to be eaten because rabbits can barely pass the entrance exam for admittance into kindergarten while he is a genius. In the Roadrunner cartoons, Wile E always gets his gadgets from Acme, but in this story, he designs them himself. Plan #1 involves trying to cook Bugs in his den by putting a pressure-cooking device over the hole. But he doesn't take into account that Bugs has a second exit. Bugs kicks Wile E partially down the hole with his feet above, then he goes down and hits his head with a club. Next Wile E extends a pipe from his cave to Bugs's hole and shoots a cannonball through the pipe, but Bugs extends the pipe further out of the other hole to fire back into Wile E's cave. While Wile E is working on Plan #3, Bugs knocks on his door and gives himself up because he can't fight such genius. He says he has only one last request. He needs a witness for his last will and testament and asks him to sign it. He hands Wile E a lit stick of dynamite instead of a pen, but Wile E is smart enough to put out the fuse. However, he is not smart enough to know that there is also a lit fuse on the other end and it explodes. Plan #4 is a booby-trapped sexy mechanical female rabbit but before he can send it to Bugs there is a knock on the door and there is a female coyote. Wile E takes it into his arms and it explodes. Then the mechanical rabbit explodes as well. Plan #5 is a small flying saucer with settings for mouse, bird, and rabbit. He puts it on the rabbit setting and sends it to Bugs. But Bugs disguises himself as a rooster and the drone is confused. While it hesitates Bugs adds a setting for "coyote" and sends it back to Wile E to explode. For Plan #6 Wile is in an explosives hut making carrot bombs when Bugs hooks the hut to a tractor and hauls it onto a railroad track to get hit by a train. Finally, a blackened Wile E Coyote comes to Bugs and introduces himself as "Mud" before collapsing. Bugs says, "And remember, Mud spelled backward is Dum." 
           In the third story, Daffy Duck is again trying to get Elmer Fudd to shoot Bugs Bunny. He puts signs all over saying it is rabbit season and pointing to Bugs's hole, even though it's duck season. Elmer points his gun down the hole and shoots. Bugs comes out of the other hole and asks, "What's up doc?" Elmer says he is hunting rabbits but hasn't seen any. Daffy comes out of hiding and says, "Don't you know a rabbit when you see one?" Bugs confesses to being a rabbit and asks, "Would you like to shoot me now or wait till you get home?" Daffy says, "Shoot him now!" Bugs says, "He doesn't have to shoot you now!" Daffy says, "He does so!" and demands that Elmer shoot him now. Elmer shoots Daffy. Daffy tries to get this right but always gets it mixed up and gets shot a couple more times after demanding to be shot. Finally, Elmer gets impatient and starts shooting at both of them. They both hide in Bugs's hole and then Bugs comes out in drag to seduce Elmer. Daffy demands that Bugs reveal himself but Bugs kisses Elmer and asks for a duck dinner, so Elmer shoots Daffy. Daffy takes off Bugs's disguise and Bugs asks, "Would you like to shoot him here or at home?" Daffy says, "Not this time! Wait till you get home!" Daffy goes home with Elmer and gets shot. 
            In the fourth story, a little rabbit takes shelter in Bugs's hole because he is being hunted by Pete Puma. Pete reaches into the hole and Bugs disguises a lit stick of dynamite with a cotton tail and long ears so Pete pulls it up and it explodes. Bugs goes up and asks Pete if he would rather have a big rabbit. Pete gives Bugs an exploding cigar but he puts it away and invites Pete for tea. He asks how many lumps he wants and Pete says three or four. He hits him with a mallet giving him lumps and then puts the cigar in his mouth. Later Pete disguises himself as the little rabbit's mother. Bugs invites her for tea but she says tea gives her a headache so she'll have coffee. Then the lumps gag happens again. Then the little rabbit tells Bugs he wants in on the act and so they plan a scheme. Pete captures the little guy and takes him to his den and into a cooking pot. Bugs disguises himself as Pete's cousin Paul. He's going to help him put coal on the fire and asks how many lumps he wants. Pete says he'll do it himself and starts hitting himself on the head. This was the first appearance of Pete Puma. Stan Freberg based Pete's voice on the characters Crazy Guggenheim and John L. C. Silvoney as played by Frank Fontaine on The Jackie Gleason Show. Pete has recently appeared in Loony Tunes Cartoons voiced by Stephen Stanton.
            I did a search for bedbugs and found none.

No comments:

Post a Comment