On Saturday morning I dreamed I was
organizing and interpreting some medieval song lyrics. I was just on the verge
of figuring them out when the alarm went off.
I
got up feeling extremely groggy. The twists and bends of yoga helped somewhat
to wring the sleep out of me but in many ways it was like squeezing the juice
from a potato by hand. Song practice served to blow out most of the internal
cobwebs and so I was pretty much awake by 7:30.
I
worked out the chords for “Chez Max, Coiffeur Pour Hommes” by Serge Gainsbourg.
The chords are actually the same in the same progression as the previous song
on the album but it was just a matter of figuring out where they fit with the
different lyrics.
At
9:45 I went to stand in line at the food bank. The line was pretty short
compared to two weeks before, with only about ten people ahead of me.
I
noticed that there was a line of striped traffic cones along the outer edge of
the bike lane. At first it looked like they were planning on building a closed
off bike lane on Queen like they have on Bloor. But the cones were only the
length of the block in front of the food bank and it turned out that they were
there to create a walking path for pedestrians passing the line-ups in front of
the food bank and park so people could maintain a social distance while getting
by.
The
woman with the hennaed hair who has been serving as the acting manager since
Valdene left came down the line with cart. She announced that they would be
giving out ground beef and chicken that day and so they were also distributing
barbecue sauce. When she got to me she called me by name and told me I could
take two. I figured that since she knew my name it was high time that I knew
hers and so I asked. She told me her name is Rosemarie. The product was Diana
Sauce and I took on honey garlic and one original. Rosemarie commented as she
walked away that it’s better than paying $3 for them at No Frills and then she
laughed loudly through her mask.
The
guy behind me seemed to want everybody to know that he didn’t want any barbecue
sauce. He informed us that he used to use it for ketchup until he found out he
could buy ketchup at the dollar store.
Then
Beth arrived complaining about how she can’t stand her neighbour. I asked,
“Isn’t that a song?” and then I sang, “I can’t stand my neighbour” to the tune
of “Won’t You Be My Neighbour?” by Mr Rogers.
Beth
began to talk, as she often does, of unnamed people that wish her dead and how
she deals with them with a smile. I said that it reminded me of the old saying,
“Living well is the best revenge.”
Beth
complained about the hearts on which we were standing and declared that they
were hateful because they aren’t two metres apart. I assured her that they are
two metres apart. She said that two metres is seven feet but I told her it’s
about six and a half.
Then
she said she was offended by the colour choices that were made when the hearts
were painted. She argued that they should have just alternated black and white
hearts. She was particularly repulsed by the colour of the heart that she was
standing on, which was a pastel orange. She said, “Pastels are from the
eighties!" I guess that’s true when one thinks of the clothes worn in the
early stages of the video era and on the show Miami Vice.
Marlena
came down the line with a cart and it looked like she was handing out litre
cartons of milk but it turned out to be liquid eggs. I was surprised when she
handed me and everybody else three of them. They must have received a truckload
of them. Since I already had almost a dozen real eggs at home and I only eat
three eggs a week, I didn’t know what I was going to do with three litres of
liquid eggs. Maybe I could sit on them and hatch liquid chickens. Good name for
a band: “Liquid Chicken”.
The
big guy who normally sits behind the computer downstairs came down the line
with a small tablet to check everyone’s names off. When he got to me, rather
than showing him my card and having him struggle to read the number while
typing, I just read him my number. I had to repeat it because the tablet was
very slow.
I
asked Beth if she’d gotten her barbecue sauce, since she hadn’t been in line
when Rosemarie had handed it out. She said she got it but she couldn’t use it
for beef because she couldn’t digest that kind of meat. Since meat and fruit
are the only things that the human body can naturally digest I asked her if she
had any problems digesting beef when she was a child. She told me she’d only
had the problem since she lost a kidney. Certainly too much red meat is bad for
the kidneys.
From
the time that I first arrived in the line-up until Marlena rolled the cart up
for me to take a box not much more than half an hour had passed. I moved my box
against the side of 1501 Queen to sort through it and transfer what I wanted to
my backpack and bag. People started moving forward to get their boxes but
Marlena reminded them to stay two metres apart and to stay on their spots so
she could come to them.
I
took a bag of rainbow tortilla chips; a box of wheat squares cereal (A generic
version of Shreddies); a jar of tomato and basil pasta sauce; a 166 gram bag of
Ghirardelli caramel filled chocolate squares, which is listed on the company
website for $33.
In the 1830s
Domenico Ghirardelli sailed to Uruguay to work in a coffee and chocolate
business. Nine years later he opened a shop in Peru. When the gold rush hit
California he went first to prospect but then opened a general store in a tent.
He built several stores in San Francisco, some of which burned or failed. He
eventually began to specialize in chocolate, coffee and spices. His three sons
took over when he died in 1892 and by 1900 it was exclusively a chocolate and
mustard business. The company was bought by Quaker in 1992 and then by the
Swiss chocolate company Lindt and Sprungli in 1998. I made the mistake of
putting the chocolate in my kitchen cupboard. The heat is still on and the
squares turned to individually wrapped chocolate caramel puddles. I transferred
them to the fridge.
I got two bottles
of Jones cane sugar orange cream soda; a bottle of coconut water; a litre of
3.5% milk; two 382 ml envelopes of mandarin oranges in juice; a long yellow
pepper; three onions; six eggs; and as promised to go with the barbecue sauce,
a bag of frozen ground beef that felt like it was at least a kilogram.
Also in the box
was another litre of liquid eggs. There was no point trying to give it away
because everybody felt like they had more than they could handle.
This food bank’s
social distancing system with the boxes brought up to the street results each
time in a moment at the end when people give what they don’t need to each
other. It’s interesting because it’s more natural than a barter system and we
revert to something similar to a tribal gift economy in that moment. I gave
away the several buns I was given, my spaghetti, another bag of pasta,
potatoes, carrots, canned corn and microwave popcorn. Beth wanted to give me a
box of gravy cubes but I told her I make my own gravy. She said she didn’t know
how to do that. I said all she had to do was mix the pan drippings with a bit
of water and warm it in a small pot on the stove. Then mix flour and butter or
margarine to make a ball of dough. Hold the ball over the pot and drop little
pea sized bits of dough into the pot and then stir it until it’s smooth. She
said she couldn’t use the cubes because she couldn’t eat beef, but I looked at
the ingredients and even though there’s a picture of beef on the package there
are no meat or dairy by-products in the gravy cubes at all.
There were a
couple of boxes on the sidewalk with unwanted food still in them as people
walked away. I took them and left them by the door. Carrying back downstairs
what food bank clients reject might serve to communicate to the volunteers what
they shouldn’t bother putting into the boxes in the first place.
I
took my food home to put away and then headed back out to the supermarket. I
was surprised on leaving my building to see that the air was blowing with
little white balls of ice. They had covered the ground and it looked like all
of Parkdale was taking part in a wedding as a storm of confetti descended on
everyone. It had stopped by the time I got to No Frills and all the snow melted
right away.
There
was no line-up at No Frills and so I was able to walk right in. I bought a few
bags of grapes and a watermelon. There were sirloin steaks on sale but there
was only one pack left. I got four for $10. I picked up some mouthwash and
shampoo, a tin of coffee and some Greek yogourt.
There
was a single line-up for all the cashiers. A young woman appeared to step ahead
of everybody else, although I didn’t pay it much attention until the other
customers began to argue with her. She insisted that she had stood in line for
ten minutes but one guy said she must have been invisible. I certainly hadn’t
seen her ahead of me until I got near the front. When a second cashier opened
up and offered to serve the next customer the woman stepped forward. The
cashier told her she hadn’t waited in line. Finally the woman dumped all of her
items onto the conveyer belt and stormed out of the store.
I
had crackers and cheese and pie and skyr for lunch.
I
worked on my journal for the rest of the day.
For
dinner I had an egg, two sausages and a piece of toast with a beer while
watching Robin Hood.
The
first story begins with Robin and his men robbing a man travelling through
Sherwood. Robin tells him that their tradition is to only take half his purse
and then to make him a guest for supper at their camp. The traveller wants no
part of that and instead wagers his whole purse with Robin that he can outshoot
him with a bow. Robin wins the contest and the man leaves angrily. On the
ground Robin finds that the man has dropped a medallion that reads, “Mark
Crispin: Champion Bowman of England”. Meanwhile the Deputy Sheriff of
Nottingham and Lord Repton are dining with Lady Marian after a day of hunting
on her estate. The two men begin to argue as to which of them has the best
bowmen. This results in a wager by Repton for 500 marks that his best archer
can beat the deputy’s in a contest. The deputy immediately seeks out Mark
Crispin only to discover that is who Repton has hired. The deputy rides to
Sherwood forest alone to make a proposition to Robin Hood. He offers him a
truce for one day and half the purse and adds that if he loses 500 marks he
will have to make up for it by raising taxes in Sherwood. Robin comes to the
contest wearing a beard. Before the contest Repton raises the pot to 1200
marks. Once they begin shooting Crispin tells Repton that he is sure that his
opponent is Robin Hood. Repton tells the deputy to concede or he will have him
charged with doing business with an outlaw. Robin wins all of the contests and
when he is challenged by Repton to identify himself he produces a medallion and
says that he is Mark Crispin. Robin also accuses Crispin of being Robin Hood
and since he cannot produce identification they try to arrest him. Crispin gets
away.
In
the second story Little John and Robin’s men try to rob a knight named Sir
Hubert de Vere. He says he has no money but he can owe it to them. They can
collect from Fitzwalter Hall after Hubert has married the Lady Marian. Upon
hearing this John insists that Hubert meet Robin Hood. Hubert has dinner at
Robin’s camp and Robin has Dick take over as host so that Robin can better
study Hubert from a distance. Hubert says he’s never seen Marian and isn’t
expecting much but after he saved her father’s life in the Holy Land Marian’s
father offered his daughter as Hubert’s bride. Hubert admits that he arranged
to save Lord Fitzwalter’s life for ambitious reasons. Meanwhile Marian is just
learning to her dismay that a marriage has been arranged for her. She mentions
that four years before that her father arranged a marriage between her and a
German baron but he never showed up. Marian’s servant Ada has an idea how she
can get rid of Hubert. She declares that she is the homeliest woman in
Christendom and proposes that she pose as Lady Marian. If Hubert is looking for
a ladylove then he will take one look at Ada and leave. If he accepts her then
it proves that he is only after Marian’s property. Marian agrees to the ruse
and poses as Ada when Hubert arrives. Hubert is immediately attracted to Marian
as a servant girl and is constantly trying to get his hands and mouth onto her.
Marian reveals that she really is the lady of the manor and the wedding plans
go ahead. The bishop is waiting in the chapel to perform the ceremony but
suddenly Robin arrives, speaking in a German accent and posing as Baron
Bloomberg with whom the previous marriage arrangement had been made. The baron
says it must be decided by combat who will marry Marian. Hubert accepts the
challenge and so he gets to choose the weapons. They go to the armoury and
Hubert picks up the weapon with the handle, the chain and the spiked metal
sphere. He calls it a morning star but the baron says he’s never heard the
name. Hubert takes that as a good reason to pick that weapon for their duel.
They use morning stars and shields. After some swinging and banging Hubert
manages to knock Robin’s shield from his hand, but Robin dodges and catches
Hubert’s chain so it wraps around the handle of Robin’s weapon, thus pulling
Hubert’s weapon away from him. Hubert yields and admits that he had arranged
for men to attack Marian’s father and then pretended to save his life. Marian’s
uncle insists that the baron marry Marian at once but just then Tuck, Little
John and another of Robin’s men arrive disguised as soldiers of the Holy Roman
Empire, arrest the baron and take him away.
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