Food Bank Adventures: Parkdale Mansions

            On Saturday morning I finished memorizing “Transit à Marilou” by Serge Gainsbourg. I didn't expect to find the chords posted since it's more of a recitation with a beat behind it than a song, but I looked anyway because I was curious if anyone had anything to say about the beat. There was nothing posted and so I started trying to work out an instrumentation for it based on the beat. The percussion does have a series of tone changes that repeat continuously in the same pattern of about five notes, ascending and descending. I worked out half the chords that I think communicate the rhythm and I’ll finish it on Sunday. I won't have to place the chords with the lyrics but just show the five of them at the beginning and indicate that they just repeat.

            I worked on my journal.

            At 9:45 I went to the food bank. As I walked down the line, a few people smiled and greeted me, including the woman I’d given the cantaloupe to the week before. My place in line was the final heart, the baby blue one just before Beaty Avenue. I took out my book of French stories and continued reading "The Return of the Prodigal Son” by André Gide. As in the Bible, the prodigal son is received with open arms by his father and there is a great celebration. But the older brother is resentful that his sibling is received without punishment. Also the speaker compares Jesus to the prodigal son as being the prodigal son of god. 

            The apartment building at the corner of Queen and Beaty has two addresses. On Queen Street the number is 1501 but on the side street there’s another entrance addressed as 93 Beaty. The building was originally called The Parkdale Mansions and it is designated under part 4 of the Ontario Heritage Act as having cultural value because it is an example of Edwardian Classicism which returned to symmetrical designs with detailing inspired by Greek and Roman architecture. The building at the other end of the block at 1495 Queen and around the corner at 194 Dowling is a mirror image of 1501 Queen and 93 Beaty and was also called The Parkdale Mansions, although now it is known as Edmond Place. Both buildings were erected in 1912, but they’re just kids compared to my place at Queen and O’Hara, which went up in 1885.

            Two tenants of 93 Beaty were chatting on the steps but one of them was smoking and the south wind was blowing it right by me and so I stepped back two meters. A short young woman with dark hair approached me and asked if I was in line. I explained that my spot was the blue heart and that hers was where I was standing, and I stepped away. I put my backpack down on the baby blue heart and went to the south west corner of Beaty and Queen , to stand in the sunshine and read. It was quite warm and pleasant there but very bright. After a while I moved back to my heart.

            Marlena came down the line with a shopping cart of cantaloupes and everybody got two.

            Peter came along with his tablet to check people in. I’d forgotten my membership card but my birthday was enough. Peter noticed that my birthday was coming up. I told him it’s a national holiday and he could have the day off.

            Just before 10:30 the food was brought out. I love how social distancing has cut down our wait time.

            I only kept about half of the stuff in the box that I was given. I took the cans of coconut milk, sardines, bean with bacon soup, cream of celery soup and pasta sauce.

There was also a bottle of Hidden Valley ranch dressing, which I was surprised to learn is the company started in 1954 in California by Steve Henson, the plumber who invented ranch dressing a few years earlier in Alaska. If this was the original ranch dressing company I would think it would be good, but this was also zero fat ranch dressing and I assume when Hansen was whipping it up in the Alaskan bush he wasn’t adding twenty chemicals to it on top of the main ingredients of mayonnaise, sour cream, buttermilk, garlic, onion, chives and dill. It really didn't taste that great, especially after I saw that the company has been owned by the makers of Clorox bleach since 1972.

I got a small carton of 2% milk, two eggs, two small fruit bottom yogourts, a tangerine and a seedless cucumber. But the best score was a pack of tomato-basil turkey slices.

There was no bread in my box, which was a first since we’ve been doing the social distancing box thing. Not that I needed any but it was curiously absent.

There were also a couple of non-food items. One was a bar of Clean the World soap. Clean the World is an organization that sanitizes and recycles soap, shampoo and other amenities from the hotel industry. Since 2009 they have distributed more than 45 million bars of soap to children and families in 127 countries and have diverted 7 million kilos of waste from landfills. My bar looks like a piece of marble and smells pretty good.

The other non-food item was a little bottle of “Dirty" tooth tabs from Lush. The bottle says they are loaded with spearmint and neroli oils. The instructions say to chew a tab and then brush. I tried one the next day. The taste is overwhelming and bitterly minty but somewhat numbs the tongue. I prefer the sweet, minty and slightly salty taste of my Arm and Hammer baking soda toothpaste.

There’s a mountain of a man who I’ve seen in front of PARC ever since the food bank moved to the same building. He would still be enormous even if he didn’t have a shred of fat on his body but he has lots. He chats easily with strangers as if he’s known them his whole life but he’s kind of a cross between being neighbourly and annoying. As I was taking the stuff out of the box, putting some things on the side and stuffing other items in my backpack, he was suddenly looming over me like an overstuffed vulture. He told me he’d take the ranch dressing from me if I didn’t want it. I hadn't tasted it yet and I told him that I'd be keeping it. I offered him the big box of generic cheerios and the pasta that I’d been given but he didn't want those. He still stood over me for an uncomfortable time before moving away.

I gave several items to the young woman behind me. She didn’t take my cereal or the cream of celery soup I offered her because she only had one cloth shopping bag and it was already heavy. She took my pasta. She was surprised that I wanted to giver her my big pack of process cheese slices, but I told her I had lots of cheese at home. I'd received another pack of fifty slices the week before and had only used five. I gave her quite a few other things including a little pack of bread sticks with cheese whiz and some envelopes of instant oatmeal. She tried to give me her cucumber but I told her that one would go bad if I took two. She appreciated what I gave her and I left with what I'd decided to take, in a good mood. I still had a box of cereal to give away and near my bike, the middle aged blonde woman who I’d chatted with a couple of weeks before took it off my hands, saying it was her favourite kind. I said the best parts of Cheerios are the holes.

I was relieved in more ways then one to be done with the food bank early. I’d had to pee ever since I got there.

            I went home to put my food away and then went out to the supermarket. At No Frills there was no line-up. I bought seven bags of red grapes, two half pints of raspberries, and some mouthwash. I finally remembered to buy fine sea salt at No Frills. I always seem to remember to look for it at Freshco but all they ever have there is the course kind. I got a container of black cherry skyr and I splurged on three Hagen Das ice cream bars, since my birthday was coming up. At the checkout counter the cashier pointed out that my skyr was past its expiration date and offered to wait for me to get another and so I did. I appreciated her being so conscientious.

            For lunch I had a toasted turkey, cheese and cucumber sandwich.

            I didn’t do any exercises in the afternoon and I didn’t take a bike ride because I wanted to get caught up on my journal.

            For dinner I had a fried egg with a piece of toast and a beer while watching two episodes of The Adventures of Robin Hood.

            The first story was a Halloween episode. It begins with Robin, Marian and Derwent finding two boys bullying and trying to burn another boy named Harold because he said he’d seen a ghost murder his father and because he is friends with a hunchback. Robin scares the bullies away by telling them that on All Hallows Eve the devil walks the woods disguised as a bowman hunting for souls. They learn that Harold’s father was killed by the ghost of the Viking that built his castle because he had discovered the treasure that is hidden there. Harold is scared to go home and so Robin invites him back to their camp for a Halloween bonfire and feast. Among the games played are bobbing for apples. The verse recited it, "Snap the apple from out of the bowl/ Spite the devil and save your soul/ Snap the apple from out of the dish/ Spite the goblins and get your wish.”

            Harold tells them that the night his father told him about the ghost and the treasure, he was killed. Twice since then the ghost of the Viking has appeared to him to warn him never to reveal that there is treasure in the castle. Robin says he doesn't think there is a ghost but there is certainly something unsavoury going on at Harold’s home. Robin, Marian and the men all decide to go with Harold to his castle to chase out the ghost. Derwent makes the ironic statement, “Shun superstition as you would a black cat because it's the devil's work". Harold brings Marian into the castle because she is a neighbour who his Aunt Elsbeth knows. They have to convince Elsbeth to invite Robin and his men in for cakes and ale. They come in singing, “A soul, a soul, a soul, for a soul cake. Come save a soul for a soul cake. One for Peter and one for Paul and three for the lord who saves us all. Put your hand in your pocket and draw out your keys, go down to the cellar and draw what you please. Give us cakes and ale and good strong beer and we’ll come no more souling until next year.” This idea of souling was the original trick or treat. The poor would come to ask for soul cake and ale in exchange for praying for the health of the lord of the manor. Harold shows Robin and the men around the castle. Before they eat a figure in Viking garb appears on the balcony. Robin warns Marian and she escapes from her chair just as an axe falls. Robin and the men follow the figure into the tower where it seems to have disappeared. A part of the stone wall slides open and the castle’s deaf mute hunchback servant Bodo walks in. Bodo speaks to Robin is sign language that he learned from the monks and which Robin learned from Friar Tuck. The men are afraid of hunchbacks but Bodo tells Robin that he was broken and disfigured in childhood by the Normans. Bodo goes on ahead and they lose him but then accidentally discover another sliding passage. Inside is the Viking treasure and they find that Bodo is attacked. The door closes and they are trapped inside the chamber. In the main hall where Marian, Elsbeth and Harold are sitting they all doze off but Marian wakes to see a moving curtain. After looking behind it and finding Elsbeth’s black cat, she turns and sees Harold is gone. They hear him scream. Through the window that looks down to the torture chamber they see Harold attacked by the Viking figure wielding an axe. Robin and the men accidentally trigger another secret passage and escape to hear Harold scream. The Viking raises his axe and is about to kill Harold when Robin shoots and kills him with an arrow. The Viking was the castle squire Edmond. Robin tells Elsbeth that Bodo told him that she and Edmond killed Harold’s father and plotted to kill Harold so she could get the estate. Later Harold says he is giving half the treasure to the ancestors of the people the Viking plundered and half to Robin and his men.

            The second story is another example of the chronological discontinuity of this series. It presents the fourth appearance of Sir Richard of the Lea in the series but the first appearance chronologically. It begins with a feast having been prepared at Robin’s camp but their dumb rule states that they cannot eat without a guest to pay for it. As Little John is complaining the loudest Robin sends him out to look for a guest and Friar Tuck volunteers to go with him. On the trail they meet Sir Richard who volunteers to come with them since he has no choice. But since Richard looks so poor they decide to fix him up a bit with knight’s raiment from their storage cave. At dinner Robin asks for half of Richard’s purse he shows that he only has ten pennies and gives Robin five. Robin recognizes that Richard's clothing came from his storage cave and so Little John and friar Tuck are punished by being put in stocks called “meditators”. Richard tells Robin that he owns a castle but only until the next day when he has to forfeit his land to the Abbot Franklin. A year before Richard’s son had killed a man in a joust who was close to Prince John. His son was charged with murder and so Richard had to promise 400 pounds within a year or give up his estate. A year has passed but Richard has nothing. Tuck says that Abbot Franklin is nothing but a Norman captain too old for active duty and he probably wasn’t even ordained. Robin raises the money from among the men to save Richard’s castle. To help protect Richard as he travels to pay the debt Tuck is released to pose as Richard’s squire. Richard comes before the abbot and the sheriff but Richard tells them he has no money on his person. As they think they are about to take possession of his castle they decide to grant him a gift of 10 pounds. But Richard gets the money from Tuck and drops it all of the floor. Tuck tells the abbot that there is another penniless knight he can lend money to against his estate. Then Tuck sends a message to Robin by carrier pigeon. Tuck leads the abbot into Sherwood Forest where Robin and his men rob him of the money that they’d given Richard .