Monday 18 July 2022

Tedd Pierce


            On Sunday morning I played and sang in English the first three verses of “Valse Dingue” (Mad Waltz) by Boris Vian and made some adjustments to my translation. 
            I memorized the first two verses of Negusa Negast (King of Kings) by Serge Gainsbourg and adjusted my translation. It’s a somewhat irreverent Reggae song about Haile Selassie.
            I weighed 85.8 kilos before breakfast. 
            Around midday I started washing the radiator at the eastern end of my kitchen. I got as much done as I could with the washcloth and the big scrub brush, but next, I need to use smaller brushes to reach in between the ribs. 
            I weighed 86.2 kilos before lunch. I had saltines with five-year-old cheddar and a glass of raspberry lemonade. 
            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back. It was a muggy day and traffic was busy for a Sunday. I’m looking forward to the streetcars returning to Queen Street in the west end, but it looks like this project is going to take years. 
            I weighed 85.3 kilos at 17:00. 
            I was caught up in my journal at 18:23. 
            I reviewed another six videos, from June 11-June 17 of me singing my song “Megaphor”. On June 11 it was the first recording with the camera adjusted so the pop blocker was not obscuring my face. This was the best performance so far. I hit the B chord properly every time. June 13 was okay but the B chord sounded a little dull. June 11 was better. On June 14 the pop blocker was up to my chin and I hit the B chord wrong a few times. On June 15 the pop blocker was still up to my chin but I was better centred in the room. I hit the chords okay through most of the song but screwed up the ending. On June 16 the pop blocker was still up to my chin and I was off centre. This went fairly well except for one time fumbling the B chord. On June 17 the pop blocker was still up to my chin but not as much. I was still off centre. The second run-through of the song went okay and this was the best performance since June 11, but maybe not better. 
            In the Movie Maker project for making a video of my song “Instructions for Electroshock Therapy” I inserted the uncorrupted clip of the concert footage of me singing, “Oh but the voltage on the screen is not the voltage in the human being” into the main video to correspond with the studio audio. I was able to synchronize the video and audio for “Oh but the voltage on the screen …” but then it goes out of synch. So now I have to fill that part with another video. I’m thinking of using the little girl’s screen-touching scene from Poltergeist. 
            I made four large beef patties and coated them in olive oil, salt, and a mix of roast garlic and herbs. I had one on toasted Bavarian sandwich bread with ketchup, Dijon, salsa, and scotch bonnet sauce. I ate it with a beer while watching four Bugs Bunny cartoons from 1945 and 1946. 
            In the first story, the railroad is coming through where Bugs Bunny happens to be. Elmer Fudd is a surveyor and he is singing, “I’ve been working on the railroad.” Bugs comments that “He sounds like Frankie Sinatra or an unreasonable facsimile”. Elmer looks into his theodolite but sees through the scope a set of lipstick-clad lips and it’s Bugs. Elmer is excited and grabs Bugs thinking he’s a woman. Bugs asks, “Is you is or is you ain’t my baby?” Elmer chases and shoots at him. Elmer looks through the scope again while Bugs holds up a match. Elmer thinks the forest is on fire. Elmer goes shouting for water and Bugs, dressed in a fireman’s outfit, sprays him with a seltzer bottle. Bugs bends the barrels of Elmer’s shotgun sideways, outward and away from one another but also pointing backward. Elmer fires at Bugs but the rabbit is already behind him and holding two targets. The shots hit both bull’s eyes and so Bugs puts several cigars in Elmer’s mouth, all of which explode. Elmer corners Bugs with his gun but Bugs turns around and says only a rat would shoot someone in the back. Elmer shoots and says, “So I’m a rat!” Bugs pokes his head through the gun smoke and says, “Here’s some cheese rat!” Elmer drops a lit stick of dynamite down Bugs’s hole and runs. But Bugs is ahead of him and hands him the stick like a baton in a relay race. Elmer throws the stick at Bugs. It follows him and explodes, causing the railroad tracks to fall into place. The train is coming and Elmer gets off the track but on the caboose, Bugs is waving. But Bugs jumps from the train because civilians are not supposed to be doing any unnecessary traveling during the war. 
            In the second story, the circus sets up its tents above Bugs’s home and puts the lion cage directly over his hole. The lion sniffs and recognizes there’s a rabbit down there. Bugs decides to go to the surface and give the noise makers a piece of his mind but ascends into the lion’s mouth. Bugs runs out of the cage but the lion gets out. Bugs goes back into the cage and locks the lion out. The lion gets an elephant to bend the bars but Bugs lets loose a wind-up mouse and the elephant is terrified. He grabs the lion and uses him to swat the mouse. The lion chases Bugs into the big top and follows him onto the trapeze. The lion swings, lets go of the trapeze and tries to grab Bugs but he misses and falls to the ground. Bugs jumps into the mouth of the cannon and the lion follows but is stuck halfway in. Bugs fires and now the lion is wearing what remains of the cannon like a shredded skirt. Bugs begins singing a Hawaiian song while the lion dances the hula. Bugs says they are available for parties.
            In the third story, there is a ball game taking place between the Gashouse Gorillas and the Tee-totallers. The Gorillas are big and strong and the Teetotallers are little old men. The Gorillas have a ridiculously high score. In addition to being better players, they are also cheaters. Bugs is cheering for the Teetotallers from his hole in the field and says he can beat the Gorillas all by himself. The Gorillas accept the challenge. So now the game is The Gashouse Gorillas versus Bugs Bunny. He pitches and catches at the same time and strikes out the Gorillas. Then he gradually raises the score to Bugs 95, Gorillas 94. One of the Gorillas is at bat and they need one more hit to win the game. He cuts down a big tree to use so he can’t miss. He hits the ball out of the park and Bugs takes a bus to go after it. He goes to the top of the Umpire State Building and catches the ball. The Gorillas lose. 
            In the fourth story, a mad scientist who looks and talks like Peter Lorre is watching Bugs Bunny via remote camera because he plans to feed him to his monster. He winds up a sexy mechanical female rabbit to lure Bugs to his castle which has a big flashing neon sign that reads “Evil Scientist”. Inside the castle, the robot falls apart in Bugs’s arms. The scientist releases his monster and it looks like a big red furry tooth with arms and legs. There is a chase through the castle but when the monster has Bugs cornered Bugs says, “Look at your nails!” and gives him a manicure but when he has him dip his fingers in the liquid there are mousetraps. When the monster finally grabs Bugs by the neck, Bugs asks him if he’s ever had the feeling he was being watched. He points to the audience and the monster shouts “People!” and runs away in horror. Bugs is about to leave but the mechanical female bunny comes up and kisses him. Bugs says, “So it’s mechanical!” and goes after her. 
            “Hair Raising Hare” was written by Tedd Pierce, who spent most of his career writing for the Warner Brother’s Animation studio. Chuck Jones said he based his Pepé le Pew character on Pierce because he claimed to be a ladies' man. Pierce wrote several Bugs Bunny stories, including the successful “Hare Tonic”. He wrote “Cat Tails for Two”, which was the first appearance of Speedy Gonzales. He also did voice work, including an imitation of Jack Benny called Jack Bunny and of Bud Ab-bott in “Babbit and Catstello (A Tail of Two Kitties)”. 
            Before bed, I searched for bedbugs and while digging a toothpick into a crack at the upper right corner of the old exit door at the head of my bed, I dragged what might have been a bedbug corpse that seemed to have already fallen apart, perhaps due to the fungus that pest control sprayed. It was black inside. Further down, as I ran the toothpick along the seam of the door I smeared another bed bug, which was also black inside with no fresh blood from feeding on me. I assume this is a positive thing.

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