Richard Erdman

            On Tuesday morning I worked out the chords for the first verse and most of the second verse of "Mon père un Catholique" (My Dad Was Catholic) by Serge Gainsbourg. I might have the whole song done on Wednesday. 

            I weighed 85.4 kilos before breakfast. 

            I took my bike to Metro Cycles to get the headset tightened because ever since I changed the front tire it's been jerking. Gordon said he couldn't do the full repair before I left for my dental appointment but he tightened it until I was able to bring it back. It actually felt dangerously tight and was steering very stiffly as I rode up to Bloor and Dundas West to go to Smile City. 

           The dentist had offered to fix my front filling when I was there last month but at the time there was just a little chip off the bottom and the tooth was still white. But I ground a lot of it off by gnawing on a T-bone and now I looked like a zombie hockey player. The dentist said that he could do a weak repair but I would have to be very careful and if I wanted something permanent I'd have to get a specialist to put a cap on it. I didn't need internal freezing but just some stuff he sprayed on the area. The filling looks better but doesn't exactly match the other front tooth. It kind of curves up to the right. For a weak filling it sure cost a lot. My insurance for this month didn't cover it and so I had to pay $383.

            Before heading home I went up to the Freshco on Dundas West just north of Bloor to see if they had any better grapes than the one at Gladstone, but they were all soft as well. I bought five bags of very expensive cherries. I also got a bag of Nabob Full City Dark Roast coffee. The total was a ridiculous $93.07. 

            Before going home I took my bike to Metro Cycles. I decided to ask for a new chain as well. Gordon said that I also needed a new chain ring so I said okay. He said he couldn't guarantee it would be done today but I hoped it could because I wanted to ride out to the 12th Fret on Wednesday. 

            I weighed 84.3 kilos at 14:15. 

            I took a late siesta and slept fifteen minutes longer than usual. 

            I weighed 84.8 kilos at 17:00. 

            At around 17:30 Gordon called and said my bike was ready. He said I'd only need to pay $170 if I was paying cash but I didn't have the cash. I should have taken out some cash on the way home but I didn't think about the tax. I ended up paying $193 by debit when I could have saved myself $23 by paying cash. Next time I won't make that mistake. 

            I was caught up on my journal at 19:11. 

            I compared my June 11 video of "Dancing to Baby Pop" to the one recorded on July 2. I missed a beat on July 2, and there was also more traffic noise and so June 11 wins. I compared June 11 to July 6 and July 6 had a cluttered looking video because I'd forgotten to take some clothing off the couch behind me. There was also a little more traffic noise and so I'll be uploading the June 11 recording to YouTube. I'm still going to record it again because I've changed a line. In this session I sang, "There are dangers that you can't ignore that help define your liberté. The menace of a world was seems closer every day. At this very moment baby realize that any time that the sun does rise there'll be exploding rockets making bodies fly". But since then I've changed "any time that" to "just as sure as" because it makes more sense. 

            I continued to search for video clips that might fit with my line, "refer to current literature". I keep thinking movies that depict books of ancient magic might have lightning coming out of the book but nothing has turned up so far. 

            I had a potato with gravy and a chicken leg while watching season 9, episodes 2 and 3 of The Beverly Hillbillies. 

            In the first story the Clampetts are on a plane to Washington while Shifty Shafer and his wife Flo are already in the US capital waiting for them. Shifty knows when their flight arrives and he is sure that they will head straight for the White House. He goes to the gate and tries to get in, but of course the guard stops him. He parlays with him until he sees the Clampetts coming and then leaves so it looks to them like he is leaving the White House. They tell him they are there to give the president money to deal with pollution. He informs them that he heads a committee that is tackling that problem. He tells Jed to make up the cheque to Citizens Against Smog Horror, but he can just write the initials, which are CASH. Jed writes a cheque for $1 million. Shifty checks the Clampetts into a nice hotel then he goes to show Flo the $1million cheque. She wants to pack up and leave with the money but Shifty insists on staying and getting more. He tells Flo she is going to be the last of the Columbia Nation. He goes back to tell Jed that the president does not own the White House because it belongs to the Columbia Nation. Princess Sitting Hawk is the last surviving Columbian but she refuses to sell. Every president since Lincoln has tried to buy it but she's turned them all down. She's now at least 150 years old. Jed wants to buy the White House land from her and so Shifty offers to serve as interpreter. They find her in a tepee across the street from the White House. Shifty and Sitting Hawk communicate in a fake Columbian language made up of mostly First Nations place names. For instance "Manitoba" means "farmer" and "Saskatchewan" means "sit down". She sells Jed the White House for $1 million and she gives him the deed in the form of an animal skin with symbols on it. Shifty says for Jed to make out the cheque to Courageous Adversary Sitting Hawk or CASH. Next the Clampetts try to get into the White House but the guard stops them and has them taken away by the Secret Service. 

            In the second story the Clampetts tell Shifty that when they tried to get into the White House that Jed just bought from him they were taken to a place called a psycho ward. Shifty tells him that is a place where they take very important people. Jed and Granny do recall the people that ran the place thought they were foreigners from countries called Paranoia and Schizophrenia. Shifty goes back to Flo and she is ready to leave with the $2 million but Shifty wants more. 

            Back in Beverly Hills, Drysdale is taking care of Elly May's animals and he's charging school children 25 cents each to see them. When Jane reports that Jed has made out two cheques for $1 million each, Drysdale sends her to Washington to bring the Clampetts back. 

            Back in Washington Shifty tells Jed that Sitting Hawk won't let anyone enter the Capital Building. Jed says he'll buy it from her. They go to see her and she wants $2 million. Shifty says to make out the cheque to Committee Acquiring Senate Headquarters or CASH. Shifty gets Jed also to consider buying the Washington Monument and the airport. Next Jed buys the Supreme Court building for $1 million. All together Shift has gotten $10 million from Jed and he goes back to show Flo, who is still in costume. Just then the Clampetts walk in and see Shifty with Sitting Hawk. They are impressed that he has taken her in. They again express their love for Honest John so enthusiastically that he loses his desire to con them. He confesses that the woman is his wife but they are even more impressed that he would marry Sitting Hawk. Shafer tries to give Jed back his money but Jed refuses, so Shafer tears up the cheques, causing Flo to faint. 

            The White House guard was played by Richard Erdman, who was offered a Warner Brothers contract while he was in his teens. He started in films in the mid 40s and worked almost up to the age of 93, appearing in over 160 films and TV series. He also directed two movies and a few TV shows. He co-starred in the film noir "Cry Danger", and in "The Men". he directed the TV film "Mooch Goes to Hollywood". He played Leonard on the TV series "Community".